But as I was cuddling her to sleep after two days of diarrhea and throw-up, I realized, if any day, this was the day to record how much I am grateful for and love her to death. I also thought that I could share some of the things I have learned after one year of becoming a mommy.
The first thing I have learned:
The whole concept of having eternal families MUST be real! I thought I realized this at those times when I thought my heart would explode from loving my husband too much and realizing that he was mine forever! And, I probably did realize this to some extent. BUT then, to hold and love something so beautiful and perfect that you created with your husband....people - that is a divine and Godly thing to do. To create something beautiful. If creating is divine and Heavenly Father is divine and eternal, then creating a family and people is ALSO ETERNAL. It just has to be. If it were not so, nothing on earth would make sense.
The second thing:
You truly CANNOT comprehend the love of your parents until you are one. Soon after giving birth, I wrote a letter to my mom, apologizing for all the hurtful things I ever said or did to her, especially during the time my parents were divorcing. I just cannot imagine the pain I would feel if my daughter did or said some of the things that I did or said to my mom during that time. It DOES NOT MATTER what your parents have done good or bad in their lives - you will only understand their love when you have experienced it yourself.
Thirdly:
Life begins to make more sense after becoming a parent. HAPPINESS begins to make sense. This - family - is what true happiness is about. I don't mean extended family, although they indeed contribute to happiness - but I am talking about the family that we create. Those who have done so know it is not a painless process - physically, mentally, and emotionally. BUT in the end, it is so, so worth it. It is exactly that - the imperfect situations in life that make real happiness authentic and genuine.
This past weekend, the three of us went on a date to Waikiki, which I shall compare to a mini Las Vegas strip. Many people have placed themselves at various spots along the street demonstrating their "talents", some really being talented and others not so much. As we walked, twice we passed by some gentlemen who held signs saying something like, "Why lie? Need $ for beer and weed."
I am sure there are those who thought these guys were totally cool because they could relate and they happily donated to the beer and weed cause.
I obviously did not feel this way; I was struck with sadness for these men. These men may never the happiness I am experiencing because they have their hearts set on chemicals that make them temporarily believe they are happy. After the high or drunkeness wears off, its impossible to continue being happy because of the need for more beer and weed. Maybe I am judging them, or just flat out wrong. My husband reminded me that maybe I should have been the one to do something nice for them (other than donating to their advertised cause). But still, I just can't imagine a more empty life than sitting on a corner asking for money for alcohol and marijuana.
There is nothing more fulfilling than the sometimes unappreciated work that goes into building a family life. I am just so grateful for the people, experiences, and knowledge that I have of my purpose in life that has brought me to where I am today.
I am so grateful for the man who took a chance on me, who works hard and sacrifices for our family, and who respectfully utilizes his Priesthood to lead our family in a righteous way.
I understand that some people believe that everyone finds their own happiness in their own ways, but I personally believe that there is only one way to experience this kind of happiness.
I wish it upon all.
Happy One Year to our Julia Kalei!
