A Journal Entry on Kalei's First Birthday

I wrote in my journal today. It was my daughter's 1st Birthday after all. And, yes, I am ashamed to say it was the first journal entry I have written since she was born. Perhaps it was that whole being a mom thing that kept me from doing so. Ok well, that's just an excuse.

But as I was cuddling her to sleep after two days of diarrhea and throw-up, I realized, if any day, this was the day to record how much I am grateful for and love her to death. I also thought that I could share some of the things I have learned after one year of becoming a mommy.

The first thing I have learned:

The whole concept of having eternal families MUST be real! I thought I realized this at those times when I thought my heart would explode from loving my husband too much and realizing that he was mine forever! And, I probably did realize this to some extent. BUT then, to hold and love something so beautiful and perfect that you created with your husband....people - that is a divine and Godly thing to do. To create something beautiful. If creating is divine and Heavenly Father is divine and eternal, then creating a family and people is ALSO ETERNAL. It just has to be. If it were not so, nothing on earth would make sense.

The second thing:

You truly CANNOT comprehend the love of your parents until you are one. Soon after giving birth, I wrote a letter to my mom, apologizing for all the hurtful things I ever said or did to her, especially during the time my parents were divorcing. I just cannot imagine the pain I would feel if my daughter did or said some of the things that I did or said to my mom during that time. It DOES NOT MATTER what your parents have done good or bad in their lives - you will only understand their love when you have experienced it yourself.

Thirdly:

Life begins to make more sense after becoming a parent. HAPPINESS begins to make sense. This - family - is what true happiness is about. I don't mean extended family, although they indeed contribute to happiness - but I am talking about the family that we create. Those who have done so know it is not a painless process - physically, mentally, and emotionally. BUT in the end, it is so, so worth it. It is exactly that - the imperfect situations in life that make real happiness authentic and genuine.

This past weekend, the three of us went on a date to Waikiki, which I shall compare to a mini Las Vegas strip. Many people have placed themselves at various spots along the street demonstrating their "talents", some really being talented and others not so much. As we walked, twice we passed by some gentlemen who held signs saying something like, "Why lie? Need $ for beer and weed."

I am sure there are those who thought these guys were totally cool because they could relate and they happily donated to the beer and weed cause.

I obviously did not feel this way; I was struck with sadness for these men. These men may never the happiness I am experiencing because they have their hearts set on chemicals that make them temporarily believe they are happy. After the high or drunkeness wears off, its impossible to continue being happy because of the need for more beer and weed. Maybe I am judging them, or just flat out wrong. My husband reminded me that maybe I should have been the one to do something nice for them (other than donating to their advertised cause). But still, I just can't imagine a more empty life than sitting on a corner asking  for money for alcohol and marijuana.

There is nothing more fulfilling than the sometimes unappreciated work that goes into building a family life. I am just so grateful for the people, experiences, and knowledge that I have of my purpose in life that has brought me to where I am today.

I am so grateful for the man who took a chance on me, who works hard and sacrifices for our family, and who respectfully utilizes his Priesthood to lead our family in a righteous way.

I understand that some people believe that everyone finds their own happiness in their own ways, but I personally believe that there is only one way to experience this kind of happiness.

I wish it upon all.

Happy One Year to our Julia Kalei!

Birth Story

My birthing story is really simple as I was fortunate enough to have no complications. But I will probably end up writing a novel anyways. Ha.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013.

T minus two days until D-Day. Doc measured me to be about 1cm dilated. She originally told me that she wouldn't let me go past my due date, so I was expecting to make an appointment to be induced on Fri. However, she really thought I would go into labor on my own, so she stripped my membranes (VERY uncomfortable) to hopefully give me a little kick, and made an appointment for Sunday 8pm instead to be induced in case it didn't work. For a few hours after this I had some mild contractions, but alas, they went away. Meanwhile, any and every position was uncomfortable. Sitting, standing, sleeping = no good. Baby please come.


Thursday, January 24, 2013

Nothing.


Friday, January 25, 2013

The BIG day I have been waiting for.

Nothing.


Saturday, January 26, 2013

Still nothing. But did I mention the itchy hands and feet? I have had itchy hands and feet for a few weeks now, but nowadays its keeping me awake at night. Sometimes this can be a sign of liver trouble, so I plan to call the doc first thing in the morning. (Oh yea, I did say that I was all complication free didn't I? Well, it turns out this turned out to be nothing but annoying and my ticket to an earlier induction).


Sunday, January 27, 2013

Doc says to go ahead and go in early to get induced. We pack, grab a hearty lunch at Whole Foods to fuel up, and check in. The actual induction started at 3 pm. The first few hours were fun. We played cards and went on a few walks here and there. Contractions definitely started coming within minutes of the pitocin, but did not feel much different than the mild ones I had been feeling the past few days.

The anesthesiologist (did I just spell that right the first time?) came in to give me info and to have me sign the paper "just in case" I wanted an epidural.  I think it's funny they do that. I was unsure if I wanted one (but knowing inside that I probably would), but I imagine the doctors laugh to themselves when they do this. Like, yeah, ha ha, "just in case". Sign the paper. We know you want one.

I imagine it was around 10 pm when they (the contractions) started getting bad. They gave me that pain med that I don't remember the name of that only lasts about an hour. It was an amazing hour (I slept) but I woke up to full-on unbearable contractions. It wasn't long after I woke up that the nurse came in and said "looks like you are ready for an epidural". Me: *brisk nodding of head* as in yes 'mam I am ready and I want it NOW.

There was this point that I remember before the epidural when all I could do was focus on breathing. I can't remember what anyone else (David and my mom) were doing at that point. Another blur. Except for that blessed nurse Coco. Bless her.

Just breathe.

I get it now. Before, I did not get the breathing thing...the breathing "techniques". Why do we need a class to learn breathing techniques? Isn't it just like the movies? "Hoo-hoo-hee, hoo-hoo-hee". No, its not really like that. But I can say now that breathing is important.

Wait, I do remember looking back at this point and seeing David asleep on the couch. Yes, he was sleeping. Just saying.

And I remember just trembling from the pain. My whole body shook, but mostly my legs. When is that anesthesiologist coming!?! This is also when that thought came that said, I can see why people say right after giving birth that they don't want to have more kids. The contractions were coming with hardly any break in between. It seemed like just as one came down and I began to relax a little, here came the next one. Could we maybe turn down the pitocin a bit, maybe?

It was probably around 12:30 am when the other blessed person, Ms. Anesthesiologist, came in. She asks if I have any more questions. Me: *Brisk shaking of head* as in NO just give it to me now, thank you. Blessed Coco let me lean on her while trying to hold very still whilst trembling as the needle went in.

OH HEAVENLY DAY.

I love me some epidural.

I gotta say, I highly recommend it to anyone. I support the whole natural birth and everything, and I would have loved to have a natural birth, but....BUT...my epidural let me sleep and let me have a nice experience. So nice that I'm ready to have another one. Ok, maybe not just yet.

Back to the moment. Epidural let me sleep for about one hour. When I woke up I told the nurse that I could feel a lot of pressure. She checked me and I was fully effaced and 9cm. I rolled over to the other side, and it was maybe 20 min when I asked her to check me again. I could feel baby girl coming.

This is when the nurse said she could see a lot of dark hair. The first real moment when I realized there is actually a little human being coming out of me. Amazing. Did I mention that my water still hasn't broken at this point? In fact, the nurse said she has never seen the amniotic sac still in tact as baby started to poke out. I felt a little bit like a circus freak as everyone had to take a look this baby still surrounded by her balloon descending out of my hoo ha.

At this point baby was coming pretty fast, so nurse turned off my pitocin so that there would be time for the doctor to arrive. When she finally did, David held my hand and it was probably only three or four pushes before she was out.

There is nothing better than when your baby looks up at you for the first time.

 We just love her. Babies are a blessing. Amen.

I think a poopy diaper is calling my name.

I have a blog?

Ok, so it was July 17 that I last posted. I remember thinking to myself how fun it was going to be to write about my student teaching experiences. And then student teaching came, and then it went. Just a blur. A big, tired, busy, crazy blur. I only remember that I barely had time to sleep or pee which was especially annoying being preggo and all. But I made it through, with the support of husband, family, and friends.

So since I last posted, I became a licensed teacher and more importantly, a MOM.

I love being a mom.

We are so grateful for this spirit that has been sent to us in this little tiny, really cute and cuddly body.

 Speaking of spirits being sent to us, her middle name "Kalei" has two meanings, one meaning "flowers sent from heaven" and the other is "beloved".

She is beloved indeed.

Coming soon: The Birth Story (coming soon like very soon like I am going to write it right now)

Hawaii Living

This summer we have been trying to get out a little more and seeing and doing what the island has to offer. During the semesters, this seems hardly possible. But that past few months we get a week every month where we can only work part-time. So we try to take advantage of the extra time to play tourist a little bit.

One of the first places we visited was Waimea Falls. Its a beautiful walk (not really a hike) through a paved path of living plants from around the world. A living plant museum of sorts. Many of the plants are endangered but native to Hawaii, and there are many exotic plants from all over the world, like I said. The most memorable plant to me was the Mindanao Eucalyptus. Not only because it originates from the Philippines, where I served my mission, but because its bark peels off to reveal various colors underneath. It looks as though someone dumped a bunch of colors of paint from the top of the tree and they mixed beautifully as they ran down. I never saw these on my mission by the way. Here is what it looks like:

And here is some other pics of David and I on our "hike" to falls, and then at the falls themselves. Small falls, yet nice. I took a little dip, even though they were closed. We then caught a ride back with the lifeguards in their truck haha. They gave us little roses folded from leaves.

After our walk at Waimea Falls, we drove across the street to take a dip at my fave beach on the island, Waimea Bay. It started to pour on us, so we didn't stay long but we did manage to take this awesome pic of a rainbow and there is David in the background.

Our next adventure took us to the Macademia Nut Farm. On our way we like to sing and take pictures like this of ourselves.

The Mac farm was funner than expected....there was a little polynesian demonstration that was similar to the Samoan village at the Polynesian Culteral Center, complete with coconut sampling and fire made from the husks. We then boarded a little ghetto bus that took us around the farm, viewing areas that are famous scenes used in many films. There was even a little boat ride. The best part was sampling the fruit. The driver even chopped some sugar cane for us, and I chewed on that for a while, surprised how really sweet it was. The REALLY best part was the macademia nut sampling. If I would have known they had free sampling I would have dropped in there a way long time ago. Here are some pics of us sampling some of the fruit.

One afternoon we took ourselves around the bend to Kuhuku to take a little gander at the Turtle Bay Resort. Its a nice place to imagine yourselves staying, and to take a few pics, as follows.

Another place we have always heard about but never took time to visit was Temple Valley. I had no idea what was there. I was surprised to find a beautiful Buddhist temple hidden in the hills of the valley. It is interesting to note that it was built using no nails!

Before you enter the temple, you are supposed to ring this bell for good luck.

One day we found ourselves exploring the east coast of the island, starting from Kailua and through Makapu'u Point, Haunama Bay, and then to town. Here are some awesome pics we took,

And us in the car again...

Our Story

Today is our half-way mark of one year since being married. In light of this special occasion, I attempt to outline our story, David and I, and how we came to be.

When people ask where we met, we always say that we met in class, in Biology 265 Molecular Biology to be more specific in the fall semester of 2010 (so romantic, I know). This is true, although we also had a Doctrine and Covenants class together at that time also. However, the first time we talked was in Bio 265 lab, and now I will elaborate.

As much as it might sound extremely cheesy or cliche, I liked David the moment I laid my little hazel eyes on him, and no joke, I said to myself... that is the guy I can really see myself with. But can you believe, even though we pretty much sat at the same table the entire semester, we never really said anything to eachother?

UNTIL one day near the end of the semester, in lab as mentioned, David asked me a question about our lab. Naturally, I lit up, and ensured to display my best smile. I think it worked. ;)

Well, we clicked, as friends of course. The unfortunate part it seemed is that both of us were dating other people at that time. I can specifically remember one awkward moment where both of us was with our other significant person standing outside Hale 1 (the girl's dorm, where all the couples stand around to say goodbye for the night) and I thought to myself....this is totally wrong! I should be with David, not this guy. And he should be with me, not her!

There was honestly no jealousy going on here, just a knowledge that I was supposed to be with David. But how could that happen? Even if I made myself single, who's to say he wouldn't end up with that other girl anyways?

It seemed unlikely, but I just KNEW I had to at least give it a try. And if I do say so myself, I was quite courageous to make myself single and available, and wait with great patience to see if what I thought was right was really right. There were times when I was doubtful and almost sure I was totally crazy. I mean, who waits for a guy who is already committed to someone else? A crazy person! But I just KNEW I had to do it.

And so I waited.

And waited.

And after displaying the patience of Job for several months, I finally started to receive confirmations that maybe I wasn't so crazy after all. There were many bumps along the road, from the time that we finally expressed that we both felt the same way until we married. And those things will be a story for some other day...

But for now...I just have to say that after six months of marriage, I have received confirmations time and time again that David is the person I know I am supposed to be with, and I am so grateful for him and everything that he does for me. He supports me, encourages me, and sacrifices for my happiness. We will soon be parents, and I cannot wait to see David play the role as father, as I know he will be an amazing one.

I love you DAVID JOEL MEJIA. Happy 6 months!!

Hormones

Estrogen, progesterone, relaxin, hCg, testosterone just to name a few...oh the woes of being a woman! And a pregnant one at that. Are they all really necessary? Really?

They make me cramp, they make me break out, they make me hairy, they make me throw up, they make me more sleepy yet don't allow me to sleep well, they make my boobs bigger (please no! Anything but that!) and worst of all...they make me CRY.

I know it gets old using the whole hormone excuse every time I get emotional about something, but really, are a woman's hormones ever really normal? Are they ever just a flat line like a man's? Nope. The norm is a constant cycle of death. And if you do anything to change that...it's just worse. Go on the pill....hormonal changes.... Go off the pill...more changes. Get pregnant...experience the ultimate power of hormone changes!

All I have to say is that well, I guess there is a whole lotta good that comes from all these strange things happening in my body and I guess Heavenly Father was pretty smart to make out bodies pretty much work like magic, but when I meet him I might just have to ask him if there really wasn't any other way?

Because only heaven knows why.

Quesadilla

Today I did something I haven't done in a loooong time. Yep, I made myself a cheese quesadilla. And I am gonna tell you all about it. Why? Well first of all because a friend told me to write about my deep thoughts, and right now this cheese quesadilla is all that is on my mind. Secondly, I promised a friend ;) I would write a post. So here it is.

The last time I remember making a cheese quesadilla I think was when I was a freshman in high school.  I think that is what I usually made. Because in New Mexico two things you always have handy are tortillas, and cheese. You also always have some green chile stashed somewhere. So since I lived around the corner from the high school I would always go home for lunch a grill a nice, crispy green chile cheese quesadilla.

Now I live in Hawaii. And all that time between my high school years and now, I haven't really lived in a cook-a-quesadilla-whenever-you-want-friendly kinda place. College = Cafeteria. Philippines = NO REAL CHEESE and NO TORTILLAS. Hawaii = you can buy cheese and tortillas, but it will only cost you one of your arms so its better to just buy rice and a good ol' box of "frozen chicken thighs for frying" and use your imagination to make the chicken taste different each time you cook it.

But LUCKILY, now, I am pregnant.

And that means I have cravings for food I have not had in a long time, and a repulsive disgust for any food I have been eating the past six months. It also means I get to be a little spoiled. We would normally NEVER buy tortillas and cheese here, especially because David hates tortillas and cheese (how could it be? I wonder this every day) so I prefer that we buy something we both like (until now!)

So yes, I enjoyed very much my quesadilla, although it was lacking green chile (a whole other impossibility in Hawaii). And I look forward to the future of other forgotten foods from my past that I am sure I will be remembering sometime in the next couple months.